The Diary of Jane
by quixoticSorceress
Summary: LOOSELY based off "The Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin. Has no real plot; contains quadrantbending. Dualfang. Read at your own risk, because I can't Dualscar to save my life.


**Disclaimer:** If I owned Homestuck, I wouldn't be complaining about spending my birthday money on my school lunch, because I'd be rich as hell. Therefore I do not own Homestuck or any of its characters, phrases, scenarios, etc. That all belongs to everyone's idol, the amazing Andrew Hussie. :33

**Warnings:** T for matespritship AND kismesissitude. In the same story. With the same pairing. Oh yeah.

* * *

Mindfang sat, as she often did, poised at her desk, her pen moving swiftly across the pages of her journal. It grew tedious, sometimes, to document every miniscule detail of every event in her life, but she knew how important it would prove in the future; therefore, she continued to write, day after day, no matter how uneventful it had been.

Today's entry was less necessary for the book's future purpose, but it often aided her to write out her thoughts on a matter. In this case, she had recently learned that a certain seadweller had placed a spy among her crew. It was now imperative for her to eliminate the traitor, before they could harm herself or those around her. Thus, she transcribed her entire thought process in blue ink, in the hope of eradicating the rat on her ship.

_Today, I discovered that Orphaner Dualscar—my kismesis—has stolen something from me, something of great value. This time, though, it is not like our trivial struggles over gold or jewels; no, this time he has not stolen an o8ject which could 8e reclaimed. Loyalty is something which, once stolen, very rarely returns to its original owner. This is, of course, what he has taken from me—the loyalty of my crew._

_Truthfully, though, I am not at all surprised that he has managed to convert my once-trustworthy friends into spies for his cause. After all, how else would I have known he had done so, had I not done the same? Yet still, unsurprising as it is, it presents a pro8lem for me, since I now know not who I can trust. How can I give an order to my crew without fearing that it will 8e known to him? How can I let slip the most casual of secrets when I am not sure if I am speaking to friend or foe? Oh, he is a nasty fiend, indeed, taking that which I value most, perhaps even more than my own life, and forcing me to fear him constantly. Yet I will 8est him, as I always do. In matters of the mind, none excel more than the Marquise; therefore, I am certain I can eliminate the spy 8efore they cause me injury, directly or indirectly._

_Knowing what I do of my kismesis, I know where to 8egin looking for the slime8looded traitor. I must assume firstly that his spy would 8e female, for he assumes them weak and easily manipulated, and would not want to risk recruiting a dou8le agent, such as a strong-willed male. Second, it is o8vious that his spy's 8lood would 8e a higher rank than my own, yet not yet seadweller level; he must 8e a8le to trust his traitor to give him accurate information, thus requiring a high8lood, 8ut also never fear a re8ellion or insu8ordination, thus requiring a 8lood 8elow his own. And he would never risk allowing me to manipulate their actions; therefore, his choices are limited to those a8ove my 8lood color. Navy or indigo, then, with navy 8eing more likely; lower in relation to him, more easily su8dued. Simple. And finally, she would 8e someone new to my crew, someone who has not yet had time to form strong 8onds of loyalty to myself or anyone else on the ship. She would 8e without any quadrantmates on the ship, though perhaps some that dwell elsewhere…_

_Ah, of course, the answer comes to me now; Hipolyta, a navy8looded girl, and a new recruit, with few friends on 8oard. I will have to speak to her sooner rather than later… I know firsthand how charming the seadwelling snake can 8e if he so wishes, 8ut it is my fervent hope that I can save her from his grasp. He may have won her trust, perhaps even her heart, 8ut I know he thinks of her as nothing more than a tool. If I can convince her of this, perhaps her loyalty to me will 8e secured; perhaps I can even use her as the dou8le agent Dualscar so fears... 8ut for her sake more than my own, Hipolyta must 8e freed from Dualscar's grasp, no matter what it takes._

_On the su8ject of Dualscar…_

Here she paused and glanced around, making sure she was alone before finishing the entry. Then she blotted the ink carefully with a cloth before closing the book and sliding the latch over the cover. The lock clicked, and she stood up, pushing her chair in with a sigh. Writing had, once again, allowed her to solve a difficult problem, but it had left her with more to deal with. Still looking at the journal, she mused to herself, "I suppose I shall send for Hipolyta…"

"Ah, so you've figured it out."

The voice was unexpected, but not at all unfamiliar. She turned quickly, almost knocking over the chair as she did. Sure enough, Dualscar stood at the entrance to her cabin, leaning on the doorframe, his face adorned with his usual smirk. "I knew it wouldn't take you long. I thought you'd have it before now, actually," he continued casually, crossing the room slowly. "She's been useful to me, though. You were careless indeed; rather unlike you, but nonetheless helpful for me."

Her eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here, Dualscar?"

"Oh, it's no fun if I just tell you, is it? No, no, no, that won't do; you're the great Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. Why don't you figure it out an' tell me?" He continued advancing into the room, and she automatically stepped in front of her desk, blocking it from him. He laughed. "Ah, the mighty pirate, tryin' valiantly to protect her precious treasure from the dreaded privateer," he jeered. "How adorable."

She growled at him, her upper lip curled back in a snarl. "Not one step closer."

He took a step, his smirk widening. "What are you gonna do about it?"

Her hand flashed out, and eight blue dice rolled onto the floor. When they came to rest, they glowed briefly, and a highly decorated blue-bladed sword appeared in her hand. She laid the tip against his chest, holding her chin up higher. "Check," she said simply, as casually as if they were playing chess. To her surprise, he only chuckled. "Well, well, you've certainly learned a few things. Whoever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I am not a dog, having tricks to perform for the amusement of my master."

"Aren't you?" In a quick movement he knocked the blade away from his chest, and then grabbed her wrist, forcing it up so the sword was at her throat. "'Cause you're pretty amusin' to me. Check and mate, sweetheart."

"Are you suggesting that you are my master?" she asked, her voice low and dangerous. He grinned. "Oh, I'm not suggestin' anythin', I'm just tellin' you what you should already know."

"You are very much deluded, my dear," she responded coldly.

"I think you're just too stupid to realize the truth," he retorted, then applied pressure on the blade, nicking the skin of her throat just barely. She hissed. "Unhand me at once."

"What can you do if I don't?" He leaned in closer, resting his forehead against hers and looking right into her eyes. "We both know who's in control here."

"Not for long."

"That's weak, an' you know it." A little more pressure on the sword, and he smirked when she growled. "I must say, you're not as strong as you used to be, Mindfang—in body or in mind."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"It means I can't believe you haven't figured out why I'm here yet. Honestly, you're gettin' slow." Before she could respond, he tugged at something around her neck. A thin gold chain met the blade held there and severed, dropping a small object into Dualscar's hand. He held up the brass key, and she hissed in fury, trying to reach for it, but he held it out of reach and pressed the sword harder to her skin. Thin streams of blue blood flowed from the wound, and she froze, pure hatred visible in her eyes. "Dualscar, you are going too far. Return that key immediately."

He ignored her. "I must confess, for a while I thought I'd never find the key to your journal. Then Hipolyta told me about the chain you always wear. An' where better to hide a key, really? It's nearly invisible under your collar. But I found it."

"Yes, yes, good for you. Give it back now."

"Why? What's in that journal that I'm not allowed to see?"

"Everything."

He looked genuinely surprised at the malice in her voice. "Why?"

"Because it is my journal, Orphaner! You may be my kismesis, but some things are off-limits, even for you! I swear to you, if you read one word of my writing in that book, you will soon be short a kismesis."

He paused, studying her face for a moment before answering. "It's cute seein' you gettin' all worked up over this, but I'm gonna take a look anyway."

"I will keep my promise," she growled.

"No, you won't."

"And why do you think that?"

"I don't think, I know. It's because you need me."

Her shocked expression was enough of an answer for him. He easily pulled the sword from her grip and tossed her aside. She hit the floor hard and laid there stunned for a few moments; then she pushed herself up on her arms and turned her head to look at him. He had opened the journal and flipped to her newest entry, and by the look on his face she could tell he was reading the very end of the entry, where she had written the one thing she never wanted him to know.

_On the su8ject of Dualscar, I have come to a realization that I have never even considered 8efore. It appears to me that 8etween love and hatred there exists a very fine line, one which can 8e crossed unexpectedly and without any notice. I have found myself wandering over this line recently, though I always take care to 8ring myself 8ack. It would not do if he were to find out how I occasionally feel.  
He is, after all, my kismesis, and has never had anything 8ut contempt for me. I will hope, then, that I can master my emotions, and never reveal my inner turmoil to him. He thinks me too weak already for me to provide him with more fuel. If he finds out, he will see this as a weakness to exploit… 8ut he will soon learn that I am not so easily used._

When he finished, he looked at her, but she didn't meet his eye. "Spinneret, what is the meanin' o' this?" he asked quietly. She looked back up at him and raised her head defiantly. "You read it. You tell me."

His eyes narrowed. "You're flushed for me."

"Sometimes."

"You have a matesprit."

"Yes, I do."

"I'm your kismesis."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Spinneret."

She paused when he used her first name, and he continued. "What do you want me to say here?"

"Nothing. I am aware you do not feel the same way, and as stated in my journal, I will not allow this to interfere with our kismesissitude. I am loath to admit it, but you were correct before; I need you. I would not jeopardize what I have with you."

He sighed. "You can be so stupid sometimes."

Her eyes narrowed. "I resent that."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how did you mean it? Am I stupid in a good way?" she scoffed.

He attempted to come up with a response, then seemed to give up. He walked over to her and pulled her to her feet; and then his lips met hers.

She was surprised by the kiss. It was gentler than any they had shared before, and he almost seemed tentative, as if afraid of upsetting her. She reacted without thinking and wrapped her arms around his neck, her eyes sliding shut. His hands went hesitantly to her waist, and she hummed softly, leaning in closer to him. Then he pulled back slightly. "This isn't right."

She frowned. "Why not?"

"Well, first off, I work for the Empress, an' you steal from her. Second, we're kismeses. Third, you have a matesprit. Need I go on?"

She paused, then looked down. "You are correct, of course. Forgive me."

"That's the problem, though. I don't want to forgive you." She glanced up at him, but he didn't give her a chance to respond. "I need you too, Spinneret. In whatever capacity you want to have me."

She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. "I am too confused… I want you in every quadrant like a desperate fool."

He stroked her hair. "Well… what the Empress doesn't know won't kill her."

She looked up at him, a slight smile on her face. "The same for the Summoner."

He kissed her forehead. "I think I could get used to havin' you in two quadrants."

"You may have to."

He grinned and brought their lips together again, and she again returned the kiss, smiling softly. A kismesis and a matesprit… Yes, she could definitely get used to this, walking the line between love and hate with him. She didn't think there was anyone else she'd rather be with.


End file.
